luckiest girl in the world!

I am feeling so grateful and so lucky this week.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how lucky I am that I get to have lived in Hawaii for my first year of college.  That when I am not doing school I can just walk down to the beach and lay in the sand! This is the dream of so many people I know- and it's my reality.

Ever since my Sophomore year I have said "one day I am going to go on a volunteer program in Africa"

...... ok well so does everyone else.

But everyone else said "I am applying to BYUH"... but no one came.

 And I did.

SO my best friend and I applied to go to Kenya, Africa this July and we got accepted.  Through hard, dedicated fundraising... we are going to make this dream a reality.

All working up to us applying, I kept thinking to myself "there is no way"  I didn't see how it was going to happen.  I would pray and pray to put me in the position I am suppose to be in.  To let things happen how they are suppose to be.  

When I got accepted, I still didn't understand. I didn't see how it was going to work.  I knew my parents would be worried about me and I know it has been and will be a busy year and this just doesn't match the schedule.  I didn't want them to worry and I didn't want them to be upset with the choices I am making.  Then last night I had this feeling to just pull out my patriarchal blessing and read through it.  So I did. and wow.  Heavenly Father speaks to us in ways we could never imagine.  I read something that made my decision so much easier.  I now know that I need to work extra hard raising money, and finding a job that will be flexible with me (which I think will work out well thanks to Tessa), because there are people in Kenya that I am going to go and help and they are going to touch my life in a way I can't even imagine.

It's not going to be easy. It will be much much different than anything I have ever done. And it will be HARD.  But I am excited. And I am excited to share the experience with my best friend.

More to come on my Hawaiian, Utahn, and African adventures.  Feeling truly blessed.

Now back to the studying for midterms.......

get my guurl out here.

It has not been my best week.

my computer broke.

I got the news that I am failing a class.

my bike got stolen within 2 hours of me putting the thing together.

real disappointing news came my way from the 801.

and NOOWWW... I am trying to find a way to fly my best friend out for her spring break and the airfare decided to be $238423495723.  I'm in college. I'm poor. I just want to show a friend a good time.

I never blog anymore. And when I do it seems like it is to take out frustration.  Things actually really are going great!  I spend the majority of my time up at Tessa's house- also known as "the quiet house".  It's a good time. Tessa and hannah have their beds pushed together and usually on Friday nights I will sleep over, well this Friday Clark decided to crash there too.  All four of us.  Squished on 2 twin mattresses.  Not much sleep happened but it was still a great time.

Oh! and maui was great. Sheesh... I really need to get better at this blogging stuff again.  When my computer comes back to me and I am not relying no the school's computers maybe I will get better at it.  MAYBE.

Happy Superbowl Sunday. Looking forward to eating superbowl food and pretending like I know what is going on with the game.

p.s. my latest weakness is ice cream.  I eat it almost daily.  Don't be surprised if I come home 42 pounds heavier.

needed to share.

I can't get this poem out of my head. hopefully this touches more than just me.  Maybe this is why I am here in Hawaii. Maybe I am here to touch someone.  Maybe someone is here to touch me.  I love my life and am so glad I made the decision to come back.

The Starfish

I awoke early, as I often did,

Just before sunrise, to walk by the ocean's edge and greet the new day.

As I moved through the morning dawn, I focused on a faint, far away motion.

I saw a youth, bending and reaching and flailing his arms, dancing on the beach, no doubt in celebration of the perfect day to begin.

As I approached, I realized the youth was not dancing to the day, but rather bending to sift through the debris left by the night's tide, stopping now and then to pick up a starfish and then standing, to heave it back into the sea.

I asked the youth the purpose of the effort.

"The tide has washed the starfish onto the beach and they cannot return to the sea by themselves," The youth replied. "When the sun rises, they will die, unless I throw them back into the sea."

As the youth explained, I surveyed the vast expansion of the beach, stretching in both directions beyond eye sight.

Starfish littered the shore in numbers beyond calculation.

The hopelessness of the youth's plan became clear to me and I countered, "but there are more starfish on this beach than you can ever save before the sun is up.  Surely you cannot expect to make a difference."

The youth paused briefly to consider my words,

Bent to pick up a starfish and threw it as far as possible.  Turning to me he simply said, "I made a difference to that one."

running here and running there.

I have not written a blog post since like the day I left here. Which was a month ago. I kept meaning to write at home but had so many different things I wanted to do there that I never got around to it... even at 3 in the morning.  THEN I got here and my life has dramatically changed.  

It has been the hardest things I have ever had to do. But that's not a bad thing!  It already feels like I have been here for 2 months, but I am just staying positive and finding the best in every situation I find myself in.

This past weekend, me and friends went a hiked up Sacred Falls.  Had a little run in with the cops, almost got arrested, but I made it out safely and got some great pictures!!

It was about a 45 minute hike up, but with some good company- it wasn't bad at all.

then, we jumped into this big freezing thing of water, climbed up this ledge and JUMPED

SO COLD!! SOOOO FUN!!

then it was time for the photoshoot

awkward family photos anyone?

I'm sure all of you pretty much feel like you know Tessa by how much I talk about her.  I honestly believe that this girl is an angel on earth.  My situation would be sooo different if I didn't have her. I love her to death and am so grateful for her.

Our weekend ended wonderfully.  Some close family friends were here and took me, hannah, and tessa under their wings and allowed us to stay with them in the 15 million dollar home that they were hooked up with FOR FREE. It was amazing. Just what I needed. Now back to reality.

Happy second week of the semester to all of you.

suprises

it's been a bad day, so let me ramble.

first off, I woke up with my nose more clogged than the showers at school filled with asian hair.

second, I hate tmobile and have to wait a while to get rid of this piece of crap/always having problems phone.

next, i took out the back of my ankle with a door and it bled for hours. killed.

lastly, due to some circumstances I have to decide if I will be returning to attend BYU-Hawaii this upcoming semester. I could list pros and cons. I could make all sorts of lists. I could talk to as many people as I want. But I can't come up with a solution.  This decision having to be made has come very unexpectedly.  I don't know what to do.

I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for me.  I know that I need to put my trust in Him and in Mark and Sue to help lead and guide me and just have a light shine in some sort of direction because at this point, I couldn't tell ya where I will be in 2 weeks. 

I love Courtney with all my heart.  I love Hawaii with all my heart. I hate making choices. I hate money. and I hate being a grown up.

Sorry for such a depressing post especially since I haven't posted since being home. I have had the most amazing break ever.  Full of family, friends, smiles, and laughter. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have the people in my life that I have. I will write all about it next time. Much love to all of you.

it's time to be in the 801

I love it here buttt...

It's time to be done with finals.

It;s time to get on an airplane.

It's time to be in the warm embrace of my mother.

It's time for home cooked food.

It's time for good hair.

It's time to have to cuddle up in blankets.

It's time to be with my best friends.

It's time to reunite with my space heater.

ccaaannn'tttt wwaaiitttt!!!!! getting on a plane tomorrow night. I will be seein' the frost of the 801 Saturday morning. I may or may not be excited.

This video cracked me up for some reason.  I have no idea why, but I randomly just started laughing when I turned it on and have seriously watched it four times in a row with an ear to ear smile on my face.

today was not very productive.  tomorrow probably won't be either considering I have no tests or anything.  I will probably watch this video some more and find more that are similar.  Maybe I will do me and Court a favor and go through our room and get some cleaning and sorting done before we leave... maybe.

sorry for the swear word at the end. I want no comments about how I am at BYU and that word is against honor code.