needed to share.

I can't get this poem out of my head. hopefully this touches more than just me.  Maybe this is why I am here in Hawaii. Maybe I am here to touch someone.  Maybe someone is here to touch me.  I love my life and am so glad I made the decision to come back.

The Starfish

I awoke early, as I often did,

Just before sunrise, to walk by the ocean's edge and greet the new day.

As I moved through the morning dawn, I focused on a faint, far away motion.

I saw a youth, bending and reaching and flailing his arms, dancing on the beach, no doubt in celebration of the perfect day to begin.

As I approached, I realized the youth was not dancing to the day, but rather bending to sift through the debris left by the night's tide, stopping now and then to pick up a starfish and then standing, to heave it back into the sea.

I asked the youth the purpose of the effort.

"The tide has washed the starfish onto the beach and they cannot return to the sea by themselves," The youth replied. "When the sun rises, they will die, unless I throw them back into the sea."

As the youth explained, I surveyed the vast expansion of the beach, stretching in both directions beyond eye sight.

Starfish littered the shore in numbers beyond calculation.

The hopelessness of the youth's plan became clear to me and I countered, "but there are more starfish on this beach than you can ever save before the sun is up.  Surely you cannot expect to make a difference."

The youth paused briefly to consider my words,

Bent to pick up a starfish and threw it as far as possible.  Turning to me he simply said, "I made a difference to that one."

running here and running there.

I have not written a blog post since like the day I left here. Which was a month ago. I kept meaning to write at home but had so many different things I wanted to do there that I never got around to it... even at 3 in the morning.  THEN I got here and my life has dramatically changed.  

It has been the hardest things I have ever had to do. But that's not a bad thing!  It already feels like I have been here for 2 months, but I am just staying positive and finding the best in every situation I find myself in.

This past weekend, me and friends went a hiked up Sacred Falls.  Had a little run in with the cops, almost got arrested, but I made it out safely and got some great pictures!!

It was about a 45 minute hike up, but with some good company- it wasn't bad at all.

then, we jumped into this big freezing thing of water, climbed up this ledge and JUMPED

SO COLD!! SOOOO FUN!!

then it was time for the photoshoot

awkward family photos anyone?

I'm sure all of you pretty much feel like you know Tessa by how much I talk about her.  I honestly believe that this girl is an angel on earth.  My situation would be sooo different if I didn't have her. I love her to death and am so grateful for her.

Our weekend ended wonderfully.  Some close family friends were here and took me, hannah, and tessa under their wings and allowed us to stay with them in the 15 million dollar home that they were hooked up with FOR FREE. It was amazing. Just what I needed. Now back to reality.

Happy second week of the semester to all of you.

suprises

it's been a bad day, so let me ramble.

first off, I woke up with my nose more clogged than the showers at school filled with asian hair.

second, I hate tmobile and have to wait a while to get rid of this piece of crap/always having problems phone.

next, i took out the back of my ankle with a door and it bled for hours. killed.

lastly, due to some circumstances I have to decide if I will be returning to attend BYU-Hawaii this upcoming semester. I could list pros and cons. I could make all sorts of lists. I could talk to as many people as I want. But I can't come up with a solution.  This decision having to be made has come very unexpectedly.  I don't know what to do.

I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for me.  I know that I need to put my trust in Him and in Mark and Sue to help lead and guide me and just have a light shine in some sort of direction because at this point, I couldn't tell ya where I will be in 2 weeks. 

I love Courtney with all my heart.  I love Hawaii with all my heart. I hate making choices. I hate money. and I hate being a grown up.

Sorry for such a depressing post especially since I haven't posted since being home. I have had the most amazing break ever.  Full of family, friends, smiles, and laughter. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have the people in my life that I have. I will write all about it next time. Much love to all of you.

it's time to be in the 801

I love it here buttt...

It's time to be done with finals.

It;s time to get on an airplane.

It's time to be in the warm embrace of my mother.

It's time for home cooked food.

It's time for good hair.

It's time to have to cuddle up in blankets.

It's time to be with my best friends.

It's time to reunite with my space heater.

ccaaannn'tttt wwaaiitttt!!!!! getting on a plane tomorrow night. I will be seein' the frost of the 801 Saturday morning. I may or may not be excited.

This video cracked me up for some reason.  I have no idea why, but I randomly just started laughing when I turned it on and have seriously watched it four times in a row with an ear to ear smile on my face.

today was not very productive.  tomorrow probably won't be either considering I have no tests or anything.  I will probably watch this video some more and find more that are similar.  Maybe I will do me and Court a favor and go through our room and get some cleaning and sorting done before we leave... maybe.

sorry for the swear word at the end. I want no comments about how I am at BYU and that word is against honor code.

december. surfing? totally go together.

here in hawaii, we choose to have december be our surfing season.  The waves are great... about 15 feet tall. and people come from all over the world to see. This is how I celebrated my half birthday. It's not til Wednesday, but we had an early celebration.

It was soo much fun!!

Paige came with us. I will be soooo sad to see this girl go home this weekend to not return.  Me and Court already plan to take a road trip up to Canada to visit.

Friday night my friends and I went to Kahuku Grill and everyone got the date plates so it was cheaper for all. It was a good time.  We sadly forgot to get a picture.

This event happened friday and saturday.  After hitch hiking. Pouring rain. And muddy/ sandy trucks, we were pooped.

Saturday day night we were in a sort of "flash mob" at the basketball game. It was fun.

Beyonce is hot.  This is the song we did. If I could be Beyonce, I truly would.

Then Sunday night, the crew (me, tessa, court, peri, james, jacob, and kaleb) went up to Tessa's house and made dinner together and then headed over to "the goat house" for a dessert party.  It was so fun! Santa came and the view off of their deck is absolutely amazing. Such a good time.  I will miss Peri, who is headed home for good, and Kaleb, who is going on his mission to Africa in January.

Finals week sucks.  Everyone just wants to be home.  That's all everyone talks about around here.  I am getting on a plan in 4 days and am sooooo excited to see family and friends and just be home for 3 weeks. Words can't even describe.  Love you all and SEE you soon :) :)

say cheeessseeeee....to my friends

I am appalled with myself! I have made it through my first semester of college with a camera. A camera that is dead.  I have not taken a single picture.  I have no charger and forgot to go buy one before I left so I have just left it up to my friends to take my pictures and put them on facebook and hope that one day I will save them onto my computer so I can have them forever.

I need to be a better photographer. Help me.

See you all in 10 days!!!!